What's NEXT!!??
Intro
Okay, let me start with this. The past month (June 2026) has been SOOOOO exciting and grounding for me!
Not to sound bragging, after a lot of late nights, I finally launched my first app on the App Store: Repilot. Well, I wanted to call it Rep Pilot as it’s a workout assistant app, but someone took that name. :( How is it different from all other workout apps? It tracks progression (heart rate, weights, reps, etc.) and gives you suggestions based on your goal. For example, if your goal is to grow a butt, don’t always run. :P
Second, our team’s paper received an Honorable Mention at SIGMOD, which brought me so much pride. Not to forget mentioning the Data + AI summit hosted by Databricks. Seeing 32k people attending and the Chainsmokers? I’m crying.
I was so overbooked for work this quarter, but still, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to complete a project at a company-level Hackathon. At 12:24 AM on a Monday, I just submitted my 90-second pitch video. Best of luck to me (fingers crossed).
Looking at my calendar over the past month, just building things, learning, and working, it made me realize when I finally stopped pouring my headspace into emotional turbulence and put my energy back into my own life, everything felt a lot more settled. Since I’m feeling ready to start dating again soon, I wanted to write this down to officially close the past chapter.
1. Looking Back
A few days ago, I happened to see an update about my past relationship and I was surprised by how quiet my mind was. As an extra logical person, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on why I kept over-compromising. For my ideal partner, I have a long checklist: the guy has to be ambitious, achieving (at least make as much money as I do), caring, compassionate, fun, curious, adventurous, mature, stable, loyal, handsome, etc… I do think I am all of the above except I’m not a man and I’m not handsome, just pretty. :P
But the pattern was that I would get completely hyper-focused on one great, admirable trait in a person, and use that single quality to overlook the fact the relationship itself was eroding my boundaries and draining my peace of mind. And obviously, the checklist was far from being fulfilled.
My first relationship lasted 13 years. He was handsome, smart, caring, and had an incredible work ethic. Just a couple of months back, my LinkedIn update said he was promoted to be a member on the board for some non-profit and managing director in a major bank. For a long time, I deeply respected that side of him. Because I had invested so much of my youth into the relationship, I treated “making this relationship work” as a goal I simply couldn’t fail at. In doing that, I repeatedly overlooked the fundamental ways our values, personalities, and lifestyles clashed, trying to hold onto a vision that wasn't working.
One year after my first relationship, I entered a second relationship. His background completed a very interesting storyline. Adding on his adventurous spirit, and passion in life really drew me in. I wanted so badly to support him in 2024, I left my own job and moved to a new city to help him through a difficult academic transition, spending hours managing his coursework.
But the reality was that I never felt right again. Yes, I loved his stories, but our visions, careers, and lifestyles were all too different to be ignored. I felt like I had to change my own view of myself, of the world. The consequence of that was I became deeply insecure about who I was, until I had to finally call an end in late 2025.
Neither an impressive resume nor a compelling backstory changed the fact that the rest of what I desired should not be ignored. My love for someone should never come at the expense of my own mental clarity and self-respect.
2. Finding My Own Center
I recently read a book that asked a challenging question: If you remove all your titles (software engineer, daughter, founder, etc.), what words or phrases would you use to describe yourself?
I sat with this, and finally came up with five core identities that define who I am:
Meaning-seeker: I am always trying to understand what things mean. It’s the lens through which I view the world, which is probably why interacting with people who don’t know who they are confuses the hell out of me.
Builder: I turn pain and curiosity into growth. This is the real reason I admire high-achieving people. It’s never been about the label, the fame, or the money, it’s because I know the exact amount of suffering and discipline they had to go through to get there.
Perfectionist: I want to be the best. PERIOD. And if I’m not there yet, I will work as hard as it takes to get there.
Lover: I am romantic AF. The truth is, when I fall in love, I go blind. I pour myself into gifts, surprises, and care until I stop prioritizing myself entirely. Because of this, I’ve realized I have to find someone who loves and cares for me even more than he cares for himself.
Explorer / Life Liver: I am deeply curious, open, and drawn to experiences. You can see it in all my hobbies: violin, keyboard, guitar, dancing, DJing, lifting, paragliding, etc. I am full of energy, life, and intensity, and this vitality is non-negotiable for me. You only live once, right?
Looking back, my past relationships were just a clash between these core traits and the reality of the people I chose. As a Builder and a Perfectionist, I tried to apply my infinite drive to “fixing” or “building” connections that were fundamentally broken. As a Lover, I went blind and let my boundaries slide.
Everyone has their own timeline and their own struggles to figure out. I’m thankful my past experience made me understand myself better. I’ve gotten my headspace back, and it feels incredibly light.
Moving forward, I’m keeping the boundaries I worked hard to rebuild. I’m just looking forward to focusing on the next chapter, living intensely, and connecting with people who are on a similar, true-to-themselves path.